Most people associate dyslexia with letter reversal and reading difficulty. While these commonly appear in dyslexic individuals, dyslexia can affect so much more than just reading skills. Another common trait in dyslexic individuals is higher emotional intelligence. In a 2020 study done by the University of California, researchers found that children with dyslexia showed a stronger emotional response to visual images and clips than their non-dyslexic peers.
We used to believe that any correlation between dyslexia and high emotional intelligence was due to students compensating for deficits. Many dyslexic adults attribute their relative success in school to their ability to win their teachers over. But this and other studies suggest that it isn’t just a compensation technique. The brains of individuals with dyslexia actually allow them to experience feelings more deeply than those without dyslexia.
What This Means for Students
A high emotional intelligence can be a blessing and a curse. With it comes the ability to empathize deeply, connect easily with others, and experience ecstatic joy, but also heartbreaking despair. It means that these individuals are more likely to fall victim to mental health issues like anxiety or depression. For very young children with high emotional intelligence, the ability often manifests in ways that are difficult for adults to manage. Young kids already have a hard time managing their emotions. When those emotions are bigger than usual, it’s especially hard to know how to harness that energy.
Parents and educators who can identify children with the capacity for these “big feelings” can help equip them with both understanding and tools for management. We don’t believe children ever benefit from having their uniqueness hidden from them. So when you notice a child in your life who you believe has high emotional intelligence because of how she responds to good and bad emotional triggers, tell her! The more kids know about their brains and how they are wired, the better they’ll do with navigating school and life.
Despite the challenges of this high emotional intelligence, it is also important to remember that it is ultimately a strength. Just like a gifted child will act out if bored by their classroom instruction, students with high emotional IQ but who lack the tools to deal with it are likely to act out, too. This does not mean that their emotional skills are hindrances. It just means they need some support with managing these skills in healthy ways.
Strategies for Kids with Big Feelings
Self-Awareness
First, as mentioned above, self-awareness is key. It’s important to teach children not only about the emotions they feel and their names, but also their capacity to experience them intensely. Again, this is a strength, and we should talk about it with our children as such.
Give Them Permission to Feel
Feelings are always okay, even if they’re really, really strong feelings. What we do with those feelings is what we have to learn to control, and that can be hard. Lead by example, and show them how you manage your difficult emotions. Don't be shy about telling your kids about the range of emotions you experience. Parents and teachers aren't immune to emotion, and this is an important truth for our kids to understand.
Find Their Calming Strategies
Breathing, counting, drawing, touching, moving...these are all great strategies for kids to use when they are upset and need to calm down. Everyone is different, so help your child discover which of these works best for him or her.