School is much more than a place to learn your times tables. In addition to straightforward content like algebra, Egyptian history, and the products of photosynthesis, students must learn a set of soft skills associated with self-advocacy and communication. This extra curriculum is often not directly taught—and some parental guidance early on will help establish a dynamic in which parents can step back and let their students develop independently.
Students should be reminded, gently but persistently, of the importance of good relationships with their teachers and how to earn them. If students can demonstrate a willingness to work diligently, ask interesting questions, and support their classmates’ learning, they’ll earn a relationship that can pay off when they need a bit of extra help or flexibility with a deadline. For high school students—or middle schoolers applying for selective high schools—these relationships are also key for applications as recommendation letter season rolls around.
As part of building a positive relationship with their teachers, students should establish a channel of communication that is respectful and direct, without intruding unnecessarily on the teacher’s time. It can be very useful for students to be in touch with teachers over email when they need to ask a clarifying question about a major assignment or upcoming test, but given the informality of most digital communications, students will often need some coaching to understand the requirements of a more ‘professional’ email, with correct grammar and punctuation. As a young classroom teacher, I regularly received emails with no capitalization or punctuation from students—and while I was more forgiving than many of my older colleagues, in the worst case these emails risk being perceived as rude or lazy. Parents can help guide these emails with younger students, while supporting a movement toward self-advocacy that will serve them in high school and college.
It’s worth discussing these communication skills with your child early on, so that they can develop the right habits to advocate for themselves throughout their school careers! And really, they’re likely to learn better if they feel connected to their teachers—so this is a skill well worth strengthening.